PRT 018 – The Yin and Yang of Who I Am

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  • karen keiper

    teenage boys probably would toss it BUT……… when they are older and married and have children etc etc i'm sure thier attitude will change.

  • Barb

    Great show as always! I gained a new appreciation for my husband after listening to your show. He is one of the appreciative guys of a scrappy girl. My husband is active duty navy and as a ship based fellow, has missed a lot of things in our children's lives. Whenever I spend time scrapping, he and our SONS spend time going though my layouts. Since I am currently scrapping 2003, it is funny to relive those moments. And my boys (even my teens) love the albums. My husband tells me all the time how grateful he is that I saved these memories because time flies. I'm pretty lucky!

  • That's so lovely :)

  • tortagialla

    Thanks for answering my question…would love to know if listeners want to share their way of dealing with scrapping emotionally difficult times. Another great discussion from the group and I think we have to scrapbook for ourselves, for the process and not worry about what others will or will not do…we'll never know!

  • Lynnette

    Please make podcast louder! I also have problems with having enough volume for the podcast when I play it on my computer or ipod. Thanks for asking us.

  • mcleslie

    Hi Noelle and Izzy, I listen every week and love your show. My question is for Izzy I think. I am a MAC person and have Mobile Me that backs up my photos. Is this enough? or do I need more?

    I would also like to add – please make the podcast louder. I also sometimes listen when I am walking my dog and it's hard to hear outside.

  • Amy_Jane

    If you're interested in the American Crafts Glitter Cardstock AND you're reading this on May 7, check out this site – http://www.scrapbooksteals.com/

    They have a new deal everyday…it easy to get a little addicted to checking it regularly!

    http://www.peachycheap.com and http://www.cropchocolate.com are similar sites that are likely to increase your supply stash…

  • Amy_Jane

    Oh – also, I think the volume is perfect.

    Something that might help if you think it's too quiet is manually adjusting the volume in iTunes. It's really easy – with the episode highlighted, go to the “Information” (on a Mac, you can get there via “open apple” + i; or, you can get there via <file>, <get info>. There's a tab labeled “Options.” On that tab you can adjust the volume.

    Hope that helps!

  • mshanhun

    Here's the post the Steph mentioned – I want to be like you http://thedailydigi.com/i-want-to-be-like-you/

  • Ladydoc

    Most interesting show, Noell!
    Great discussion about my comments on the future of scrapbooks. I hasten to point out that you failed to deal with some of life’s realities. I do appreciate Izzy’s sentimentality. However, my husband is 77 and he says if I go before him there’s simply not going to be room in “the home” (retirement home) for stuff. My Mom, who has moved to assisted living, is presently clearing out all but the basics in her life; so, I understand. My sons (step and biologic) range from 21-47 years of age. They do not own large homes, some no homes, and in CA we do not have basements and our attics are filled to the rafters with insulation (if we can afford it) and little else, as paper products would be too great a risk of spontaneous combustion – I’m sure that’s true in Arizona, too. Unless my husband digs up a vein of gold while out there in the garden, my grandchildren and great grandchildren will be very fortunate to be able to afford even a small single family dwelling. (With the societal debt burden we are leaving future generations, who knows what they’ll be able to afford?) I believe that we need to be realistic about just how much of all this scrapbooking will survive. Even digital scrapbookers cannot be smug, as the media will deteriorate or few will have the equipment to view old technology in 50 years. But, DO NOT STOP scrapbooking. As I said, this is about YOU! Indeed, some of our work will persist and be treasured and even bring big bucks on versions of Antique Road Show in the next century or two; but, we cannot count on it. I do use 3 ring albums. Maybe they’ll save a few fave pages? I bet they may take some photos off the pages, too.
    My purpose was to make folk look at the burden they sometimes place on themselves about scrapbooking. It’s an artificial and horrible thing to make this wonderful hobby a chore. I’m sure my great aunts are not turning over in their graves that every embroidered doily, antimacassar, and tablecloth and every macramé pot hanger has not survived. Nor should we think our treasured scrapbooks will endure either no matter how archivally safe they are! We should enjoy our hobby though! Genealogists of the future will treasure what does survive and the chance to share and enjoy with our families and friends right now is immeasurable. Not to mention, how much fun it is to take all those pictures or play with all the pretties and wonderful messy stuff!
    As to “us vs. them” there is a little competitiveness in all of us. The great thing is that there is room for all of us at the finish line. Like most marathon runners (I think it’s the sport that best describes scrapbooking) we probably should work on our personal best and continuing through the full race. Again, it’s back to the finding the joy in all of this. You know it’s a funny thing about how hobbies can be competitive. It’s probably true in knitting as well as scrapbooking, although I’ve not noticed it much.
    I appreciate folks talking about difficult subjects. It is hard. My only daughter died at age 2 and I think many times of scrapbooking some of her photos but I have not done so. I tend to put those photos away. I did do 1 page about some of my sadness related to my children, NOT public. Speaking of future generations, they’d probably appreciate some of our honesty about difficult times. In my genealogy hobby, I find I’m more curious about the hard times in my ancestors’ lives than the easy times.
    Well, now that I’ve written another essay, I’ll look forward to next week’s program.
    BTW, I do have to put the volume up fairly high on my home computer so I think increasing the volume a bit would be good.

  • Noell, have you ever thought about having LadyDoc as a permanent “guest” on your show?

    I never think much about whether my scrapbooks will survive or not. I guess I just assumed they would, but then I think about how many pages I produce in one year, and I know that won't be possible.

    As for scrapbooking about hard times or even death, I look at it this way. Yes, it is necessary! I have seen many people do pages about the death of a mother or beloved grandmother, or even a dog or cat. You can't pretend that those sad feelings don't exist and then never scrap about them. The same goes for feelings you might have about, say, being a mother – whether that is good or bad, or not being able to be a mom, or being a working mom, etc. I think our kids will want to know how easy or hard it was for us in this generation. Not everything is happy-go-lucky, warm and tender all at the same time. Sometimes, we feel terribly guilty or we go through difficult phases with our kids, and when they grow up, they will go through the same things with their kids. Why not express that in some way? When I ask my mom now for advice, she gives very general advice because she actually doesn't remember any of the details!

  • Stephanie

    I enjoyed the discussion about why people scrapbook and how those in their lives support their hobby. My husband is a supportive “scrapbook widower”. I even get adhesive refills and other fun goodies in my stocking each year at Christmas. He even offers some creative suggestions when asked. Since he isn't the best at remembering to bring a camera along on events he likes that I take the time to document our life together. He's also good at taking the camera from me and having me in the picture so I'm not the “phantom scrapbooker!” He also understands that this is my creative outlet and it makes me happy. If I start to get a bit crabby or just “off” he'll suggest that maybe I should go with a friend to a crop. I know that he appreciates both the finished product as well as the time I take to put the scrapbooks together.
    I also have to crank the volume on my iPod as well as the volume on my car stereo to hear the podcast.

  • scarletthread

    This had to be one of episodes that I enjoyed the most. Thanks for the frank discussion on scrapping hard times. It is not easy to be vulnerable. Even if these pages are not public, the process is so cathartic for me. For me, it is mentioning infertility in my pages for my son. He cannot fully understand the joy of his arrival w/o understanding the painful waiting.

    I do wish that my husband/children would cherish my scrapping as much as I do, but if they don't then perhaps their wives someday. In the meantime, I enjoy a creative outlet and make our story accessible. I may not make the most glamorous layouts, but it is the stories that concern me most. Pictures with no context get trashed instead of cherished.

  • kychellebelle

    Thanks for another great episode. You got me thru a long morning of cleaning! I have the volume problem for all the podcasts I get from ITunes, I have to jack the volume way up. I always wondered why. I agree with Izzy, I prefer more content, less crunch in my life-so do what you thin works best!

    I had a comment for Nancy. I have a physical disability and I work with people who have intellectual disabitlities. I really appreciate your comments as it relates to life with you daughter. The way a kid feels about themselves is a reflection on how their family treats them. I was blessed with a wonderful loving, gushy mom who took lots of pictures of me-wheelchair, braces, surgeries and all. She taught me not to focus on my disability but note it as a part of my life. It is part of my story. I work with kids and work all the time to develop their self image and help them embrace life. As corny as it sounds, I know. I wish more moms would document and celebrate life the way you do for your daughter. I feel as thought many parents want to ignore their child's disability, and that is pretty impossible. THe project that Noell supported for NSD (LifeBooks) is similar in nature to a project that the rehab hospital here in KY does with patients who suffer a SCI. A journal that documents their injury and the way their life changes. I love that idea. You not sugar coating or painting it to be all roses, just documenting your story.

    I can tell that you adore your daughter, challenges and all, I am sure she knows, too. I knew my mom loved me and was so proud of everything I did.

    Anyway, just wanted to throw that out and thank you for you comments. Can't wait for next week!

  • Thank you so much for another great episode. I love listening to the Roundtable. I've been debating with myself, back and forth, whether to go public with layouts that show the more serious and hurtful side of life, but after listening to you guys talk, I knew I had to. Maybe, by doing it, talking about it, showing it, it will help other people to be more open and thus heal better. It's not about focusing on the bad things alone, but more accepting them as part of your life and who you are. Documenting. So thank you for a wonderful show, and thank you for making me re-think my decision. The result of it can, by the way, be seen here: http://linascraps.blogspot.com/2010/05/3-little

  • Thanks for sharing that link!!

  • Thank you for sharing!

  • Thanks for this info!!!

  • Ladydoc, I'm glad you returned on this to point out how there really are situations in which there really is no one who can reasonably keep all of our pages and albums! Another one example I had: someone with no children or close family. What if she just WANTS to scrapbook? Of course, her hobby is just as valuable to her as it is to anyone else.

    Again, TFS!

  • I'm hoping to remember to invite the audience to share their own perspectives on our discussion topics. Maybe that will generate even more sharing of people's specific ways of doing things.

  • tortagialla

    Thanks!

  • Thanks for sharing, Lina! Perhaps the process of scrapbooking difficult times can help as well… like therapy!

  • Thanks for sharing your thoughts about scrapping difficult times. I am trying to find a way to do that…because I don't want holes where I'm just silent…and it's not just for future generations…I want it to be part of the process for me. Scrapbooking is part of my life, right? :)

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  • Ashley M

    I really liked this episode. I do wonder though about how people scrap difficult relationships. I have a very hard relationship with my sister and my mother and I would like to somehow explain to my children why our relationships are this way. I also want to re-live the good times with us, but I have a hard time knowing how to do that when there are also such bad times.

    Any ideas?

  • crystalangel

    I love the podcasts and also became a member and love the videos as well. I think what I love about the roundtable is how philosophical the discussion always becomes, I think that says alot about scrapbooking. I believe scrapbooking is so much more than a hobby, it is a lifestyle. We are all life enthusiasts. The process of scrapbooking allows us to be more present in our lives, it allows us to cherish the everyday moments as something truly extraordinary because no matter how mundane life may seem we have proof that they are not, that within each lies tender moments, soulful moments that remind us that no matter how challenging and painful life is, that the journey is worth it. I definitely think we each have to scrapbook for ourselves, as our commitment not to get a certain number of pages done or be caught up but a commitment to ourselves to cherish this life, to take the time to wrap ourselves in those moments that fill us with joy, with peace, and with love, to live in this state of constant inspiration from life itself. It is such a soulful act to value our lives as we are living them, I believe it helps us all be more conscientous people as a whole. The world needs more of that. Personally, the us vs. them is something we need to let go of and just embrace each other as being smart enough to get it, that life is meant to be cherished and that is what we are doing and whatever your process it should be one that fills you with joy and if it is than you are doing it right.
    As for scrapbooking more difficult subjects, I believe it is very cathartic but as you all have expressed it is not something you can push yourself to do or share. Usually some time needs to pass before I can attempt to scrap such because it does mean having to stare it in the face again, and time always helps you remove you enough to make that feasible. With time comes perspective, and at that point I can usually find some good or meaning in it or at least how I have grown from it and so I will express my sorrow but stear my journaling in this direction. As far as how to scrap difficult relationships as Ashley M. was asking, I again try to get some perspective and try to find something positive, my dad and I have a pretty distant relationship, we are just very different and lack common ground, but I realized that he was the photographer in our family, the one who was constantly taking pics when we didn't want him too (like when we were shoveling food in our mouths), but there was my connection, and though he was never as passionate as I am about it I still take some solance in that maybe he inititated it in me. Also, I think a way to express the distance that may between you and members of your family is to create an “I wish…” layout expressing how you wish it could be vs. how it is so that the focus is on how you feel rather than badmouthing anyone. With anything difficult, stream of consciousness, free verse poetry is my go to. When you are going through something difficult it is the emotions you are trying to convey and they cannot always be contained in neat little sentences with accurate punctuation. My final thoughts are allow scrapbooking to be your passion, your outlet, your way of living inspired and if living and scrapbooking feeds someone else's heart and soul later in life that is glitter on the pretty pattern paper.

  • bluerose711

    great episode as always! so excited that you read my comment about the volume and if izzy thinks it's going to be crunchy then it's fine the way it is- i believe he knows better.
    on another note, I love the rabbit holes that you guys fall into, it always makes me feel like I am eavesdropping into a really interesting conversation instead of being somehow lectured on the topics (not that I like to eavesdrop hahaha)

  • I thought everybody secretly likes to eavesdrop. ;)

  • coffeemomma

    re: scrapbooking difficult times. I'm listening to this podcast a week or so after it was put out, and I have so much to say on this topic…I'm so glad it came up. My first child was born ill, was not expected to live long, and wound up living much better and longer than expected…ultimately, though, he did pass away at the age of two. Scrapbooking his life was theraputic in that I was able to celebrate every single day we had with him…days we didn't expect. After he was gone I NEEDED that outlet to keep remembering him and make sure that his memory lived on for our current and future children. When I have a bad day and I'm sad about him, I celebrate another memory. I also made a scrapbook for our Pedatric Hospice to be used in their outreach program.
    This topic is so sensitive and will be different for everyone, but scrapbooking helped keep me on track after he died, and I cherish each and every page I have with him, because it represents all the amazing time we had with him.
    In response to Nancy (this has come up several times, I think, in different ways)…she has talked openly about her daughter's Autism. My son was born with Down syndrome and three severe cardiac defects…and I have created pages about his Therapy sessions, the schedule we kept with him, and his milestones. He didn't learn to sit until about 1.5 years, for example, and it was a celebration when he did…Scrapbooking is about these celebrations. I've never shied from talking about the “bad stuff” or what made him unique, good or bad, in scrapbooking. I know that it's different for everyone, but for me, scrapbooking was so very healing and amazing in getting through this tough time.

  • ibisarrastia

    Okay guys, I have to tell you that driving while tearing up over a paperclipping roundtable episode is not my ideal commute scenario. I was so touched by this episode and it was by Izzy each time. I cried when he talked about his Mom's photobooks as something cherished that lives as a representation of his mom who passed. And then again when he talked about sitting around with the kids looking through old scrapbooks because they missed Noell who was away. It was so sweet. Noell, you have quite a guy there. Thanks again for another great episode and I agree about the audio volume, the newest PRT episode was much easier to hear than this one. Thanks for raising the volume.

  • Angela

    As always… your show rocks! I learn so much and just enjoy being in your audio presence.

    I felt compelled to comment when you read an email from a listener regarding the status of her albums after she is 'gone'… as in passed away into that big LSS in the sky! Let me tell you from personal experience, not all scrapbookers' families are like Izzy. I have found full, completed scrapbook albums in garage sales…complete I mean with pictures, embellishments, etc… several times. I always double check with the person running the garage sale to make sure they are aware of these albums here in the $1.00 box and they are. They are albums that a sister-in-law or mother-in-law or whomever did and the garage sale propietor (sp?) is just not interested in them. So out they go for a buck! The same for thrift stores and antique stores… It's sad.
    There was a discussion on scrapbook.com about this situation and there were hundreds of responses from scrapbookers all over the country (world even) that have encountered the same thing… currently made, completed scrapbooks that are being sold at garage sales, thrift stores, etc… One lady even went to her daughter-in-laws home to help with a garage sale and found the mini albums she made for her dil in the $0.50 box!
    There was another woman that has made over 50 albums of her only daughter (who is an adult now) on shelves in her home that her daughter doesn't want. They (the albums) will 'clutter up' her daughter's house too much. Now, I wouldn't place any hard cash on what the status of those albums will be when the mom dies. Maybe the daughter will feel so much remorse she will want her albums after the moms dies? Maybe not… looks like it could go either way.
    I personally have inherited my aunts scrapbooks she made for my cousins. After her death, I was one of the co-executors of her estate. My cousins and I would pour over her scrapbooks all the time when I would visit while she was alive, and they would 'Oooh and Aaaah' with me on how lovely they were, yada yada yada…. After my aunt died, her kids wanted none if it! There are over 30 albums of pictures…baby pictures, school pics, wedding pics, etc… and her kids don't want any of it! I confronted them saying “You always adored looking at the albums when I visited with you…why don't you want them?” … they replied they did this for their mom's sake and really find them kind of silly. Sad, huh? Well, I'm keeping them and I'm praying that their kids will some day come to me to have the albums and I will gladly pass them over to anyone in that branch of the family that will appreciate them.
    So, while Izzy will make sure the albums will not go into a garage sale, there ARE some families out there that really don't care. So this craft really is FOR US!

  • giraffemom

    Finally listened to this today….Please make it louder! I listen through iTunes and find that if I have to turn the sound all the way up in iTunes and then turn my speakers all the way up in order to hear you. I like to work in my scraproom while listening and if I don't have it up fully, I can't hear you over my shuffling of paper.

  • Killi

    Hi!
    What was the url of the scrapbooking site of sad things so to say? Do you know what I mean?

  • Tori Bissell

    Just listening to this podcast now. Oh my gosh when you read the section about the husband and son throwing out the mother’s scrapbooks I gasped so loud and nearly broke into tears. That breaks my heart. That poor mom who feels like what she is doing isn’t valuable. Awe. I’m so glad the rest of her post spoke about how she does it for herself. I really appreciated Izzy’s support for you Noell in this segment and how he cares so deeply for you and supports your love for scrapbooking. Honestly these reader feedback podcasts are great. I love hearing ya’ll comment on what people are saying.

    I completely agree with the point that we can find “find a community to support us” – that is seriously so true. When I started scrapbooking I thought I was alone because my family and friends and community didn’t understand. But I came online and found so many strong communities of people who understand my nature. I love that what you guys speak about on the roundtable make me feel connected and sights like studio calico also make me feel a part of something bigger. I love that we can find that community.

    I certainly think it’s important to find my own style but I really feel like the only way to find my own style is by experiencing other styles, trying things out, and finding inspiration in other places.