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Even Your Teens Will Love You For This

Hi again!
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You know Pam from the television show, The Office? I saw her face in an issue of O Magazine once, and since The Office is one of the only TV shows I watch, I had to find out what the actress, Jenna Fischer, had to say to O readers. Surprisingly, what she said applies directly to us as scrapbookers.

Jenna had the same teenage angst most teens feel toward their parents. One day, while fishing through a drawer that contained memorabilia from her childhood, she found an old datebook her parents kept while she was a baby. Periodically, they would write a quick note on a particular day about what she was doing, or how they were dealing with the struggles and wonder of a having new child.

This is how those simple notes affected Jenna…

As I read, I realized for the first time ever that my parents were human beings. It had honestly never dawned on me that the people responsible for incarcerating me in my bedroom, who forced me into the manual labor of taking out the garbage, had once been two kids who were overwhelmed and excited about having their first baby. And they adored me. To see that kind of humanness in them at a time when I felt so disconnected from them was deeply affecting. I could have hugged them immediately, told them how much I loved them. But I didn’t. In my own subtle, teenage way, I just…appreciated them more.

I have kept the datebook in that drawer ever since, as a reminder of how much my parents did for me, how much they love me, how much I love them.

This article moved me — so much so that I’m writing to you about it three years later! What is it about her story that causes me to recall it again and again? It’s so human. We all relate to it. I found five tips from Jenna’s experience — and from her own way of telling the story — that you and I can use as scrapbookers to encourage a similar result of mutual understanding and compassion between ourselves and the people we scrapbook about.

  1. Talk to your subject, instead of about your subject. Example: “You always wanted me to hold you facing outward so you could see all the action that was going on,” instead of, “Trinity always wanted me to hold her facing outward so she could see all the action that was going on.”
  2. Be real. Be honest. Share some of your struggles.
  3. Sometimes it’s better to let your family members come across your messages to them on their own. You don’t have to show them every page you make right away. They’ll find it later. You also don’t always have to see their responses, or be assured of your impact on them.
  4. Simplicity in communication is beautiful.
  5. Writing something down — no matter how small or mundane — is better than not writing anything at all.

And if I can add my own tip — one that is totally unrelated to the article — it would be this: spend a meal passing the camera around and make embarrassing faces when it’s on you. Your kids will love you for that, both now and in the future.

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Best Regards,

Noell
Host, Paperclipping

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  • Sandi

    I would love to become a paying member of Paper Clipping but my computer does not seem able to play the video. It starts and stops, pauses and stutters. I have been so frustrated that I cannot even watch the free ones, grrrr.

  • Monicaferri

    Wow, I love that article too. But I give her credit for having that awareness as a teenager when she discovered the datebook – even if she didn't say it! I've been having the same feelings of gratefulness for my Dad (concerning things I've never realized before) while reflecting on Father's Day. Thanks for sharing that Noell.

  • http://twitter.com/taly_g Avital Gertner-Samet

    I love that too! I wonder what our future kids will think when they see this => http://www.creativityprompt.com/give-yourself-p

  • http://www.paperclipping.com Noell

    Ha! I saw your comment on my photo page yesterday and you're right — that's
    hilarious that we both posted silly face collages today! :)

    I love the comment in the journaling on your layout, too. So cool.

  • http://www.paperclipping.com Noell

    Sandi, it's possible that your computer is too old or that your internet is
    too slow, but most likely you need to either update Flash or Quicktime. Here
    are the links:

    Flash: http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer/

    Quicktime: http://apple.com/quicktime

    Hope that helps!

  • Babeeghly

    I loved your article today! Thanks so much for sharing it. I know I was a difficult teen and if I had seen something written like that about my parents it might have changed our relationship for the better! I will definitely pass this on to everyone I know that has kids! I also wanted to say how much I enjoy your free roundtable discussions and paperclipping live videos. I just recently started watching them more regularly. I like to listen to them while I'm stamping cards or working on a scrapbook.

  • http://twitter.com/taly_g Avital Gertner-Samet

    Thanks <3

  • rocksand

    What a wonderful article Noell! The last year has been the hardest months our oldest teenager has ever experienced. She is in such a better place now, and for that we are all so grateful. The article reminds me of the journaling I wrote the first ten or so years of her life, and I hope that someday soon she can reflect on it to help her continue in her journey of happiness. I kept a calendar by the changing table for each of my girls and I would write something small almost every day. After their first year I started writing a sentence or two about the day's events; words they said; things they did; you name it. I used the Creative Memories Journal Pages, so its like a diary. I put them in their scrapbooks at each birthday along with a birthday love letter I would write to them. These pages are one of the things I love to read the most when I look through their scrapbooks. I think I need to start this process again! Thanks for the inspiration!

  • Chelscraps

    This is so great! This is exactly why I scrapbook! My 16 yr old will talk about things that happened to her when she was 2 and I ask her, “How do you remember that?” She says I don't really but when I look at my scrapbooks they remind me of those things!” I love that! I want them to remember all of those times that were so special to me, that otherwise they would never know about, because they aren't going to remember when they started walking, or when they learned how to ride a bike. This hobby has been just a great blessing in my life!

  • Vivian

    Thank you so much for the tip about talking TO instead of ABOUT the subject of the page.

  • Scrapin4mhe

    Hi Noell,
    I really like the idea of passing the camera around the table. Such a fun idea!
    I wanted to tell you a few things that I posted on my blog today using Glimmer Mist. I don't know if they will inspire you are not, but I think they turned out pretty cool. They are not perfect, because this was the first time I tried the Glimmer Mist, but I like how some of the things turned out, and that I was able to make current some of my old product.

    Here is a link to my blog: http://www.destinationexceptionalmotherhood.blogspot.com

    I think my favorite thing I tried was using my old stencils with the Glimmer Mist, especially the circles. The older style paper I tried to update turned out nice too. I do think that I will use it. I am not a great photographer, so the photos don't do much justice to what they really look like, but you will get the idea. I would love to see what you could come up with using some of these ideas, and your scrapbooking supplies. You are so much more creative than me, I just know that you would come up with something very cool!

    Amy B:)

    PS. Yes, I am having trouble getting on to Twitter during your Live show. Would it help if I sign onto Twitter ahead of time, or is there a place on your website that says “Follow Me On Twitter” that I can click on? Thanks for all the great ideas! I just love seeing what you come up with every week!

  • http://www.paperclipping.com Noell

    Those are awesome! My favorite are the circles and the letters! I love them!
    The combination of colors and the way they're spotted looks awesome on those
    circles.

    You should be able to just sign onto Twitter during Live! and start
    tweeting. If you want me to see your tweets during the show, though, you
    need to add this into the tweet: #pclive

    That's called a hashtag and during the show I pull up a search on all the
    tweets that have that hash-tag.

    You can also follow me on twitter by going here:
    http://www.twitter.com/noellhyman and clicking on follow. I will only see
    your tweets during the show though, if you use the #pclive hashtag.

    Thanks, Amy! I look forward to hearing from you during Paperclipping Live!

    :)

    Noell